Dean Collins After being kicked out of his apartment, Dean asked Gabe if he could crash at his place for a little while. Two years later, he’s still there. Despite being a gifted writer, Dean’s lack of motivation has relegated him to ghost-writing for bad sitcoms and schlocky novels. He’s none too pleased with the way things are going, but considering the effort that would be required to change things, he’s willing to deal with it. The work may suck, but at least it keeps him in beer and tacos.
	Gabriel Miyazawa Of the two, Gabe tends to be the responsible one, or at least, more responsible than Dean. A bookstore wage slave, Gabe is passionate at heart, but completely lazy in practice. He doesn’t really want to be a total slacker, but, for the most part, he can’t help it. The truth of the matter is living a normal life takes a lot of work, probably too much.

The Couch Old Greenie has been Dean and Gabe’s comfortable friend for nearly a year, during which time its seen use as a couch, a bed, a table, and, on one rare occasion, a wet bar.

The Guards In December of 1984, Joseph McCleaen, hailed by many as the greatest security guard ever to serve, died of natural causes. Death however, did not diminish his sense of duty. By late February of the next year, the first line of security clones based on his genetic material had been generated and were beginning their development. Despite several horrible mishaps, the McCleaen Security Company’s cloning processes have continued, and these guards, the third generation, are the latest results.